Advice Requested

Hello my friends

A number of people who follow my ramblings are encouraging me to bring my posts together as a longer story. I started that project a couple of months back and have settled on an approach where I tell my story from the perspective of a new friend Kurry. Writing as a 3rd person allows me to talk about things with a different voice than when I use my own perspective. Both are still mine but they differ … not sure how exactly but they do.

It strikes me that as regularly readers, you might have a perspective on how this project unfold. I’m interested in any opinion you’d like to share. Here’s my thoughts on what might be possible candidates:

  • A focus on how to find your own voice when you get life-altering news such as a cancer diagnosis.
  • Human-speak details about treatments.
  • The emotional roller coaster and how to keep from using your mind.
  • Dealing with the eventuality of death and making end-of-life plans.
  • Putting together a bucket list of adventures.
  • How to share what lays ahead with your family, friends, and anyone who is important in your life.
  • Finding mental peace.
  • How faith factors into living well within your own skin.
  • Dealing with the sense of being trapped in a body that is failing you.

I think you get the idea.

I ask that you write your ideas as a “POST COMMENT” using the button at the bottom of this message. That will allow others to see your thoughts and potentially trigger other ideas.

I have spend a lifetime telling students and others that the only “stupid idea and/or question” is the one that goes unshared. Anything goes my friends.

As always, I thank you for being in my corner as support pillars and a huge shoutout to God for continuing to hold my hand and be the source of courage I need to deal with the road I’m travelling right now.

Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil

4 Replies to “Advice Requested”

  1. hmmm, well, I think the question is how to write going forward in Kurry’s voice? The idea of writing one’s story in the 3rd person is very interesting. Yes, take it on. That in itself is a difference. As to whether a particular bullet point you’ve given or another bullet point one of us might think of makes the best framework for the larger story, I do have opinions.
    I’m a joiner, not a splitter. I find the attributes things have in common and I lump them together. Splitters focus on identifying as many different attributes as possible, and divide things along those lines. So in the list above, I am able to lump all your categories together except for “Putting together a bucket list of adventures.”
    If that gets reworded into “How to get the most out of the time on earth you have left,” then it fits into the framework. Consequently, you should write about all of them!
    There’s my two cents. Let’s hear from your other friends. What do you others think?

    1. Here is a taste of how it starts. My plan, to date but subject to change, is to tell the story in chronological order.

      I am known to my friends as Kurrie, short for Kurage. I don’t know the origins of my name but I like it. This story is about my new friend Phil. In December, 2019, his future took an unexpected change in direction when he learned he had cancer.

      My plan is to share as much as I know about him and his experience. Since when we met in February 2020, I have been his constant companion. Our friendship developed quickly and I think it contributed to his decision to live large and refuse to allow cancer to dictate how he will spend his remaining time on this blue dot we call planet Earth.

      You will notice as you read this story that “cancer” is never capitalized. Phil does not wish to show this miserable disease any respect. I think part of the reason we have become so close so quickly is that we have many common beliefs as you will discover as you continue to read. We truly are kindred spirits.

      Phil has spent a lifetime as an educator. He sees his disease as the most important “teachable moment” of his life and plans to share his experience with others. He plans to share his experience with others dealing with cancer or any life-threatening disease. He deeply believes that making an active decision to be the best version of ourselves when facing a health challenge is fundamental to living with as much joy and purpose from day to day as possible. He frequently says, “I didn’t pick cancer, it picked me.” Along the same lines, as a cyclist he says, “We don’t get to choose all the roads we travel but we do get to choose how to be the best version of ourselves while on the ride.” His point is that he can’t undo that he has cancer so there is little point in spending any time feeling sorry for himself. Every moment that passes is a moment closer to the end of life so Phil plans to spend every moment focused on dignity, courage, grace, humour, and faith in God. He has a friend, Caitlin, a Palliative Care Physician by profession, who sent him the following message, “We are all living but we are all dying too … and it’s painful to know you’re further along that timeline than you’d hoped.”

      1. About: “He sees his disease as the most important “teachable moment” of his life and plans to share his experience with others,” – make these kind of reflections more personal to Kurrie.

        Kurrie is developing a relationship with you, so he would say, “He sees his disease as the most important “teachable moment” of his life. I concur. The experiences he’s shared with me so far have cemented our friendship forever. I look forward to each of our conversations knowing more is coming.”

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