Appointment Date: Tuesday, July 20, 2026
I met with Dr. Wojciech Morzycki around 10:45 am to get the results of my CAT Scan. He is a brilliant Oncologist and frequently tells me I’m his favourite patient. In spite of my cancer and associated weight loss, I continue to be healthy overall and able to be moderately active. I lack strength, and every physical task, like the work I do on the boat, takes me longer than most people.
In case you are new to my blog, I have esophageal cancer which started in my GI track and metastasized in my liver. There is no cure for my cancer. I am officially a palliative care patient with stage four cancer.
Although there is no cure, chemotherapy, if effective, can slow the progress of the disease and extend my life. My quality-of-life is negatively impacted by the side effects so I always feel unwell, but living longer even though felling ill, is a whole lot better than the alternative of ending my days on this blue dot we call planet Earth.
My first round of chemo started in September 2020 with the drug Oxaliplatin. It is as aggressive a chemo drug as there is and as expected there are side effects. Typically chemo patients experience nausea all the time which makes it difficult to eat. An advantage I have over other patients is the loss of my stomach during surgery on May 22, 2020. I have no problems with nausea. The drugs suppress my appetite and I have indigestion from time to time. It is proving a challenge to eat enough to maintain my weight. The volume I can consume at every sitting is limited but to offset that challenge I need to have small meals six to seven times a day. As I write this article, I am 57 kg (127 lbs.). That is pretty small considering I was 127 kg (280 lbs.) just four years ago when I started cycling.
Last February, 2021, Dr. M announced that the aggressive chemo was effectively stalling the progress of my disease. However, it was destroying my bone marrow which is a rare reaction in chemo patients but clearly is how my body is reacting to the drug. He advised I need to stop treatment immediately. He was concerned even one more infusion session would finish off my bone marrow. If it fails, my body would no longer have the capacity to produce blood cells. Decision time: die of cancer or die because my body can’t produce blood cells - this was a no brainer. I stopped the aggressive treatment.
A few weeks later I started taking a more moderate drug called Capecitabine. After four cycles, Dr. M scheduled me for a CAT scan. In the image produced by the CAT scan, Dr. M can see the tumours in my liver, count them, and measure their size. Ideally, if the drug is working, the tumour count will be the same as the last scan and the tumours will appear to be the same size or smaller.
Dr. Morzycki’s demeaner during this appointment was that of a man visibly shaken and upset. He is not one to beat around the bush. After the usual pleasantries his next line was, “I do not have good news.” The Capecitabine did not stall the progress of my cancer. There are new tumours and the old ones were larger.
Although I knew eventually my body would become chemo insensitive, my hope is that would be in the future. Chemo insensitivity means my body is ignoring the presence of chemo drugs. It turns out that once that occurs, my body will resist all chemo drugs.
I have exhausted all my treatment options. There is no point to stay on chemo. It is not stalling the progress of my disease. All that remains is to live my life as large as I can until the cancer takes over my liver and then other organs which is a countdown to the ringing of the death knell.
There is one drug I can try but there is no clinical evidence to suggest it will have any effect. Dr. M uses it with some patients and had success in 5% of cases. It is unlikely my body will resist this drug but the chance of success is extremely low.
Although I haven’t decided to try this drug, I think I should give it a shot. Your knee-jerk reaction is likely, “Why wouldn’t I take this drug?” The short answer is the drug will have side effects and impact the quality of my life which is pretty good right now. Once I go on this drug, I will be sick all the time. There will be good days and bad days but I won’t feel as healthy as I do at this moment. If I decide against the drug, I will feel healthy until I don’t and then I will decline quickly.
The most common question people ask is how does that translate to life expectancy. The short answer is no one knows and given my general good health, I can expect a solid six to eight months when I feel really healthy and then I will start to decline. By the way, I have decided I will die at home. I do not wish to limit access to anyone who wishes to visit. This will be both good and bad for Janet, my family, and others but I will derive great comfort surrounded by loving support pillars as I decline, even once I lose conscientiousness. I will write a future article on what the process of dying looks like in order to prepare anyone wishing to visit.
As always, I really value that you read my articles. I really want them to be most “teachable moments” of my life and help others with life-threatening diseases to cope with emotional ride. I have cried a lot this week coming to grips with the realization I am playing out my Final Act. As support pillars, you provide the motivation I need to stay positive. My journey with cancer has been like a ride on a roller coaster with ups and downs. This is clearly one of the down moments but my plan continues to live large and have plenty of adventures. I refuse to let cancer define my daily living.
Do not be sad. This was a predictable destination. I am okay.
Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil
Unrelated
I provided every family member and those who are on the sailing team with the embroidered shirt you see in the picture to the right. There are fifteen in circulation.
To be clear, this is not a pressure pitch but if you’d like one, I’m plan to place an order at the end of July.
Six of my friends asked it I would have shirts made for them and I agreed but haven’t taken action yet. Second Wind has become a defining theme in my life. The family wore their shirts on our Canada Day cruise and they will wear them when we have a family portrait taken this fall. They look pretty good in the shirts. I’m of a mind that this is the appropriate kind of clothing to wear to my celebration of life in the future. It would make me smile.
Should you like to have one, with taxes, they cost about $50. I have decided that for everyone purchased, I’m going to make a charitable donation of $5.
If you’d like to order a shirt, just send me a note using the email address and I’ll add one to my order. Once ordered, I will send you a note so you can etransfer me payment. Please review the size charts below and send that along with you wish to get a shirt.
The quality of the shirts is good in my judgement and they look great on the family.
Carefully review the sizing chart below. In my experience, it is pretty accurate but one of my children felt they ran a little small as his was tighter than he expected. Plan carefully as there is no return option.
27 Replies to “Health Update”
Good morning Phil, your words are inspirational as always and sometimes hard to read because they will end in time.
I’ll send you an etransfer with appropriate size sometime later today.
Know that you are loved and highly respected by many.
I am honoured to be one of the many.
Every time I play golf or just work around the yard I carry you with me, wishing I could do more.
I’m certainly up for visiting when you feel the time is right.
Yours in Life
Patt Dunphy
Keep fighting mind over body as they say makes a difference. Love your posts they are very inspirational.
Phil - you and Janet are close to my heart as you continue on this life journey and this morning the news, altho not really unexpected, resulted in tears in my tea. As I look outside and see sunshine and calm waters on the cove it makes me think of you and how you’re living each day. I’ll be in touch. Gentle hugs!
Your outlook, as always, is positive.
Obviously the journey has been difficult but you can be assured we have followed it with you, with hope and with love. May you continue to live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment as best as you can.
We have known each other for only a short time but it has been a cherished experience for me - and will continue to be, today, tomorrow and forever.
Be comfortable.
With great affection
Joel
Hi Phil, you truly are a gentle man, and living true to your word with grace. It is sad there will be no more long rides together, no more adventures, but I feel privileged to share your journey now, yet from so far away. 🤗
It is such a joy to hear from you. Our time together in the Race Around Denmark was a life changing milestone. I’ve booked myself to do a fundraiser ride for Sick Childrens in Toronto. I’ve done this before. It goes right through the month of August. I set my goal as 100 km and it is still a question if I can pull this off on my bike or if I’ll have to haul out the Harley … Ha Ha.
You are an inspiration to all Phil. I admire your courage.
Phil,
I don’t quite know what to say! Your words are black and white, the meaning isn’t hidden, you’ve emptied your heart and soul on this journey we’ve all been on! A journey that all of us mercifully wants to continue! You’ve helped people all your life Phil, even in your darkest days you are still teaching us about humility, trust, love, friendship and devotion! Thank you for continuing to let us celebrate life with you! To say your an inspiration doesn’t seem to be enough.
We are all dying, thank you for reminding us how to celebrate life every day and be thankful for the people who love us unconditionally ! My house is available to you whenever you need a quiet place to go and reflect Phil! We will see you soon.
It is my privilege to count you and Lindsay as friends. I look forward to spending some time together soon.
Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil
I have no words. Simply wanted you to know that I am here and praying.
I’ve been thinking about you lately with the notion that you might be a StayCation destination for us later in August if you’re open to company.
Such words of sorrow, pain yet inspiration and hope that this next segment will be as best as it can be. As I walk out of Dal today to retirement I will feel your warm spirit, dedication and friendship and well as your big kick in my butt telling me to get out and live life to the fullest. I have learned a lot. Thank you
Jug
Hi Phil. I am enjoying your posts and while sad to see the latest news I am happy we are connecting after life at Dal. I wish you well in living your best life. I can only hope to follow your example. Take care Jo-Ann
Thank you for the thoughtful message. It is wonderful to have so many good people in my corner. It is a source of deep comfort as I ride this wave through the next few months.
Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil
Keeping you close in my heart and mind during your courageous journey. Your blogs have been a gift of discovery for me. Please continue for as long as you are able knowing that they touch people deeply.
It is my plan to continue this “teachable moment” approach to living out the remainder of my life.
Thank you for taking the time to message.
Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil
Phil
Thank you for your courage to share these difficult times. Your positive spirit and honesty with yourself and us is inspiring. You are a strong role model. Keep your attitude up and your humour on board.
Thank you
Chris
A sense of humour has been a constant companion over the last few years. I figured out a long time ago that we are happier when our focus is more on the positive than the negative. I plan for that to be part of my mantra going forward.
So nice to hear from you.
Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil
Oh Phil. There are no words to express how sad I am at this news. But I am so inspired by your courage. My memories of you are as a bear of a man (in the warmest way) - so full of optimism, generosity and so supportive of all of those around you. You are truly a gem among men.
it is so nice to hear from you. Thanks for the kind thoughts. It was a joy to have you as a colleague at Dal.
Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil
Hi Phil,
Thank you for sharing this tough news here. Your energy for life is such a valuable example of how to use the finite time we all have. I am so inspired by your activities this summer! What a great schedule you and Janet have created to enjoy the end of lockdown. What about your grandson? I would love to hear about having him in your life. I know for me having grandchildren can be another level of life giving joy. They remind me of how much time I have had and make me more grateful for that.
So nice to hear from you. Janet and I have been busy and have lots of stuff coming up in August, September, and October. We planned to travel to the Netherlands in October but my Oncologist strongly recommends we not make that trip. Should I end up hospital, my travel insurance will not cover it and we’d end up with a financial disaster. This came as a disappointment because an important part of the trip was to spend time with my young friend Wietse.
I had a wonderful video chat with Wietse on Thursday and he decided since I can’t come, he will travel in this direction this fall.
My son Christopher and his wife Becca decided they do not wish pictures and other stuff about our grandson in social media so no one is getting much detail about Jacob. He is thriving at 10 months and a joy to have in our lives. He changes every day so it’s a lot of fun seeing his development. Right now they’re in Minnesota with Becca’s family and preparing to re-entre Canada with all the documentation they need to renew Becca’s work permit.
Thanks for asking.
Phil
Hi Phil, I’m thinking of you and Janet, so sad to read your last post, but I recognize your courage and strength.I will always keep in my heart our moments together. Thank you for all you taught to Alex during his time in Halifax. I pray for you and your family. Xx
I had the sweetest notes from Alex, Kennedy, and Jason when I sent them the news earlier in the week before I went public yesterday. All three of them live in a special place in my heart.
My three sons and I are flying to Montreal on September 10th. for the weekend. We’re staying in a BnB in the downtown. We are calling it a Pilgrimage as we plan to visit the locations where known healing Miracles have occurred. Of course we also plan to enjoy the Pubs and Restaurants in the area where we’re staying.
Thank you for the kind comments. I loved Alex from early on and will hold that for the rest of my life.
Peace, Love, and Laughter
Phil
Phil, thank you for sharing your storey. It’s been many years since we have last chatted but my experiences with you as a teacher and basketball coach will never be forgotten. I so admire you for telling this storey. It is an important one tell.
Take care,
Peter
Wow! That goes back more than 40 years ago. I had a lot of fun with you guys back then and every once in while a team picture pops up in FB. Those years teaching in Spryfield were pretty special.
Cheers, Phil